Our IVF journey

1st Protocol:
I was on estradiol and progesterone to heal from my surgery. Then developed a cyst on my ovary. So that protocol was cancelled.

2nd Protocol:
Instructed to take birth control pills to quiet my ovaries down. Well, my body did what it wanted and I still got my period despite taking the pills for 2 weeks. I developed another cyst that was 25-30mm large. Progesterone tests after reveled i did not ovulate, my Estrogen level was 660. So this protocol was cancelled.

3rd Protocol: Antagonist
For fear that birth control pills would not work to suppress me. I was instructed to take Ganirelix injections for 6 days before starting my stim medication. This worked to suppress me alright. When I went in for my CD3 ultrasound my afc (antral follicular count) was only 9! That sounded pretty low for me. It's usually around 14-15 each cycle. My fear was they over-suppressed me. We forged ahead and I was given a high dose of follistim and menopur.

Follistim: 375 iu
Menopur: 150 iu
Ganirelix: 1 dose x 3 days

I stimmed for 8 days and ended up with only 2-3 decent follicles the rest were too small to catch up.

All measured follicles on Day 9:

Left ovary: 21.5, 11, 15.5, 6, 6, 14
Right ovary: 25, 6

This cycle was converted to IUI to not 'waste' our IVF with insurance. We only get 4 tries! And this isn't looking to good.  I took the trigger shot the morning after my last appointment and had the IUI about 26 hours later. Hubbies counts were great! With a final washed count of 52 mil per 0.5ml
inserted. Fingers crossed.

4th protocol: Antagonist
Instructed to take birth control pills and estrogen to quiet my ovaries down, again. 
Follistim: 450 iu
Menopur: 150 iu
HGH: dose I can't remember

Made it to retrieval but the numbers of mature follicles were small. 
Ended of retrieving 2. 
Day 2 none fertilized 

5th protocol: Micro dose flare - cycle cancelled
HGH
Instructed to only take bcps.  Ended up starting and ovulating on the pills. 

6th protocol: Moved onto Donor Eggs
Bcp's
20 units lupron
Vivelle dot patches
Baby aspirin 81mg 
PIO
Instructed to take bcps for 2 weeks before then start lupron injections daily each night. Donor starts her meds Jan 25. 

New RE

This new doctor has been wonderful! I met with my new R.E. and he took my concerns over low AMH seriously and my concerns over the hasty diagnosis of bicornuate uterus seriously. He scheduled me for a Saline hysterosonogram (which was incredible amounts of pain). Sure enough he saw right away the exterior 'material' in my uterus and said this is NOT bicornuate but a septate uterus. Ahhh, finally a diagnosis! This means it's treatable with a relatively quick and easy surgery.

I chose to have the surgery and i'm glad (so far) I did. It was pretty quick only about 30 minutes long. I was given anesthetic to completely put me under. And woke up to a small amount of pain but tolerable. It takes several months to heal from the surgery so this will take you out of TTC for 2-3 months. After the surgery my doctor told me that he did find a lot more 'debris' that he was expecting. The extra tissue was very wide and low and went from fallopian tube to tube stretching across the top part of my uterus. He said as he expected once he removed the debris my uterus expanded and opened up quite nicely. I'm hoping this takes away my horrible cramping pain I experience with a period. Only time will tell now.

My doctor said at the very least it's evened the playing field for my chances with IVF which we then discussed might be the best option for me as my low amh is only going to get lower.

When I explained the things the previous doctor had done and said he apologized and said he was frankly very disappointed in the treatment I had received that far.

Always an Aunt?

Infertility sucks! Big time. It felt like no one was listening to me. And although I had confided in my closest friends and my sister, I felt like people just didn't know what to say to me.

In the meantime, as in the MIDDLE of this struggle, my Sister-In-Law became pregnant, again. She happily announced her pregnancy with the whole family over one Sunday afternoon and i just lost it. I couldn't hold in my emotions any longer. I smiled as long as I could and congratulated her. And even sat through my Father-in-Law celebrating his victory.  He exclaimed "I WON, I WAS RIGHT" and looked right at us as soon as my SIL announced their pregnancy. Both my husband and I looked at each other in disgust/shock. My FIL went on to say that he had a bet with my MIL...which of their sons would 'win' and get their wife pregnant first. Wow, great. I'm so happy that you were right that your son and myself weren't able to get pregnant. We made no secret about the fact that we wanted children and were TTC as soon as we got married. And to make matters worse, my husband had confided in his father that we were having difficulties and how hard I was taking it. This last little knife he stabbed into my heart, forced me to get up and leave the room. As I sat crying, alone, in my SIL's bathroom I tried to think about why this is happening to us?  Then we had to hear that we didn't seem that excited to hear the good news about the new baby. And why weren't we more celebratory. What the fuck is wrong with people and their complete lack of sensitivity.

For the next few months at every family gathering we heard well when are YOU TWO going to get going on that?! And then we had to sit and listen to all the happy pregnancy talk, nursery decorations, colors, etc.

My husband and I began to fight more and the stress of all the appointments, bloodtests, side effects and lack of progress really got to both of us. We agreed to take a few months off from the clomid and IUI's and poking and prodding and TTC and then start again fresh with a new doctor. 

Reproductive Endocrinologist - No 1

I was given every test under the sun my new Fertility Specialist's office. The first day I gave 12 vials of blood! 12!!! I was found to be in normal working order for all my levels, except one...my AMH level was 0.81. AMH or anti-mullerian hormone is an indicator for your remaining egg reserve. Every woman is born with a certain number of eggs and some are just born with less. Again, back to googling the shit out of AMH levels for a woman my age (32). My FSH levels were normal, my AFC was normal, it was just this 1 number.   See this chart outlines it all very nicely...

AGE SPECIFIC b-FSH and AMH LEVELS
Age	FSH	AMH
< 33 Years	< 7.0 mIU/mL	= 2.1 ng/mL
33-37 Years	< 7.9 mIU/mL	= 1.7 ng/mL
38-40 Years	< 8.4 mIU/mL	= 1.1 ng/mL
= 41 Years	< 8.5 mIU/mL	= 0.5 ng/mL

Awesome, at age 32, I was between where 38-41 years olds measure. Grrreat. But I've read that just because I could have a low reserve doesn't mean the quality is poor.

This 1st doctor didn't seem concerned at all and thus gave me a prescription for clomid and sent me on my way. My husband and I tried this method of throwing medicines at me to see what sticks for 3 months. 1 month of taking 150mg of clomid gave me horrible hot flashes, I developed a few good sized follicles maybe 3 that were around 18-20mm when they instructed me to take the trigger shot. They had us come in for 2 back-to-back Intrauterine Insemination's (IUI). All the IUIs were done by nurses and i never saw a doctor. One nurse in particular was horrible at getting the speculum on my cervix, and had to insert and reinsert it about 4 times, all completely dry without lube. They aren't allowed to use anything as it might cause the sperm to stop moving.  Then after she was done torturing me she told me I have a crooked cervix and tilted uterus? Oh great, never knew that. But makes a lot of sense why sex can be extremely painful at times. And she said she'd write that in my chart so the next nurse would have an easier time.  The next day the next nurse didn't know and proceeded to insert the catheter before insemination that she poked the top of my uterus. This caused me to gasp and cramp, next followed by bleeding. Man, it just kept getting better. No, BFP. Nothing.

The next month I got a cyst and had to sit out. The next month I went through the horrible clomid hot flashes and IUI's again, that same damn nurse, despite me telling her about my crooked cervix/tilted uterus shoved the catheter so far again she poked the top of my uterus! Seriously?! I've now had this procedure done 4 times, 2 of those times she stabbed me. The other 2 times the two different nurses I had, had no troubles inserting without stabbing me. When I complained to her she insisted that, that lets them know they are in the right spot? Ok, great so more bleeding for me.

I was monitored by numerous blood tests and ultrasounds and was told my progesterone levels were too low and to start injecting this Crione progesterone gel vaginally until I got a period or a BFP.  Well, I always tested out the hCG trigger shot so I knew that when I got a negative at home, it was another failed round. My period failed to show up. I called the nurse to ask if i should stop taking the progesterone as I had already gotten a BFN well over 2.5 weeks at home. She kept insisting it could still happen and to keep taking it until I got a period. I questioned her about whether the progesterone gel would prevent a period and she assured me that it wouldn't.  Well, 3 weeks later, no period, no BFP.  Finally, angrily, I called the Doctor directly who insisted I come in for a beta bloodtest to check for pregnancy. Fine, I forked over yet another $50 copay to take the test only to have her tell me I wasn't pregnant,which i already knew. I asked, again, if the Crinone gel was causing me not to have a period and the Doctor said that could be a cause for some women. Grr. So 3 days after stopping the Crinone I got my period.  And I was done with that doctor, their nursing staff and that office!

Bicornuate uterus? What the heck is that...

So on my previous post I mentioned I was diagnosed via HSG that I have a 'slight' bicornuate uterus (B.U.). Well, after I got home I did a lot of googling and that was a big mistake. It made me feel even more terrified reading all those horror stories. What really DID help me was that from the googling, I found numerous women mentioning the Yahoo Group - Mullerian Anomalies.  I did join and found that to be a very valuable website. I learned that a bicornuate uterus cannot be properly diagnosed via HSG and should be closely examined with an MRI, Saline sonogram or for a really clear view by a hysteroscopy/laproscopy.  At the very least it should be left up to a Doctor with specialized training in Mullerian Anomalies or a Fertility Specialist. Thus began my quest to find such a doctor.

I started out with a handful of cards to local fertility clinics in our area. The first company which will remain nameless brushed aside my concerns about my diagnosis and when i asked for a 2nd opinion the Specialist looked at the HSG X-rays on my iPad and said "Yep, looks bicornuate." that was it? Really? No further testing? She went on to tell me that I shouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant with a B.U. It'd just make me a high risk pregnancy.

This visit with a specialist should have sent me running. But, alas, I stuck around for a few months of pointless meds.

Our infertility story begins...

Well, here goes nothing! This is the first official post to my shiny, brand spanking new blog. And on a day in which I am given such great news following my second saline sonogram..."your uterus looks great". Yes, what every girl dreams to hear!

My story starts out simple my husband and i got married back in 2011 and got pregnant the first time we tried a few months before we got engaged! Yay?! But then found out the hard way what it means to be 'a little pregnant'. About two days after getting the faint little + sign I started spotting, then bleeding, etc. My doctor gave me a pregnancy test (blood) and said not to worry, that this happens sometimes, and to not give up hope yet. I was scheduled for an ultrasound which determined things were far too early on to see anything. Well, I went on to experience a miscarriage right around 5.5 weeks.  I bled for 9 days straight and had some bad cramping although not unlike what I would normally feel with my period. Beta confirmed my levels were in decline until they finally read a 2. Ok, i had given up hope when i saw them drop from test 1 to test 2.

We sat out a few months to gather ourselves and let my body recover. We also had a wedding to plan for. And didn't want to deal with this kind of thing on a honeymoon. Well we have been trying, unsuccessfully, ever since. After 6 months went by I sought out guidance from my OB/GYN which offered little to no help, said that she had magic hands, and after these exams from women who are 'worrying for nothing' about not being pregnant quick enough....9 out of 10 get pregnant within the next try or so. Yeah right, great. Her 'magic' voodoo hands did nothing. I did however find out I was deficient in Vitamin D my levels were 19 which they would like you to be from 50-80 range. I was given Vitamin D3 to take and more prenatal pills and sent on my way. But not without some judgey comments from the doctor first, before the exam she asked me how old I was and asked how long I'd been married....I was 31 and had been married 6 months.  She then questioned if it was really a good idea to have kids so soon after being married? Wow, I think my husband and I can decide when the best time is to start a family thank you very much!

Needless to say this conversation would just get better when at around 10 months of trying without success my OB/GYN scheduled me for an hysterosalpingogram (HSG). This is an X-ray test that looks inside your uterus and fallopian tubes to make sure everything is open and in working order. Let me tell you, this test was HORRIBLE. I experienced the worst cramping i've ever felt in my life. I was crying and just trying to breathe out slowly the entire time. The doctor couldn't get my cervix to cooperate and used some horrible mideveil device to clamp onto it to hold it in place, then used a balloon to expand the cervix and proceded to inject knifes into my uterus (ok really it was the contrast dye). The whole thing took maybe 10 minutes from start to finish.

My doc determined that I had a 'slight' bicornuate uterus and it wasn't that big of a deal. This diagnosis was new to me and of course had me wondering what the heck it meant.  My doc casually mentioned that I'd probably require a c-section and would be considered a high risk pregnancy but that it shouldn't affect my fertility at all. And on a positive note, my tubes were wide open!